its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
