so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
