Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize