I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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