If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
the day after is always just damage control
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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