he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
