Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
