I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
