When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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