i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize