Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
