you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
