and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
