Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
