I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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