ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
