i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Randomize
