She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
