i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
