This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
