he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
