And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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