So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
