their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
