Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
