3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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