i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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