ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
After last night, I could never be a politician.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
