I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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