Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
