no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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