is your mom at the bar?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
