he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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