When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
