My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Randomize
