its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
