Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
