3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I just gift wrapped bread.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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