Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
