her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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