i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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