god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
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