I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
