I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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