can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize