Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
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