New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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