remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
