so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
