it's too hot outside to masturbate.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
