can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
