similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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