I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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