5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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