i just sold back the books i vomitted on
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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