Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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