He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
