I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
