you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
